


as of today

by TSUKKIMOCHI



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Death, Family Fluff, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I need coffee, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, POV Kuroo Tetsurou, What Have I Done, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSUKKIMOCHI/pseuds/TSUKKIMOCHI
Summary: 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲━━ ❝ i love you. ❞© TSUKKIMOCHI  ; plot© haruichi furudate ; haikyuu!!
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	as of today

_I need to learn to live without you_  
_As of today._

_As of Today - Judah Michael_

**______.｡.:*✧_ **

  
Kuroo Tetsurou awoke in the familiar space of the bedroom he shared with the love of his life.

They had met back in high school. It was quite the predicament as they went to separate schools that just so happened to be rivals. Ironically, it was exactly their relationship that brought the 2 schools together. They've known each other for about 20 years now, been dating for 19 and were married for 9.

Tetsurou always said it was the best 20 years of his life like he was 60, when in reality he was only turning 35 this year.

Not like that mattered to him, it will forever be the best 20 years of his life.

He carefully got out of their shared bed, paddling to the kitchen located downstairs, and automatically made 2 cups of coffee. One with half-water-half-milk and 3 teaspoons of sugar, just how his husband liked it.

But then when he was about the pick the mug up to carry it to their bedroom, he was struck with the realisation that he, in fact, _no longer had a husband._

Yeah, that's right. He just remembered.

That's why there was only his weight on the bed that morning. That's why the usual pair of small yet muscular arms wasn't there to pull him back to bed. That's why the bed, no, _the entire house_ _was so cold._

_There was no more sunshine._

_No more Kuroo Shouyou._

_No more_ **_Hinata_ ** _Shouyou._

_He's gone._

How long has it been like this, again?

2 weeks, maybe?

He's been waking up, making 2 mugs of coffee only to drink them both himself every morning for 2 goddamn weeks now.

He can't really be blamed, it was part of his morning routine for 12 years now.

Sometimes Tetsurou wished it had been him, sometimes he wished he was dead instead or too, but then something pops into his mind and he forgets all about death.

Except that one particular death that will forever be at the back of his mind, reminding him that he was alone and that he lost his sunshine.

He hadn't even realised he was crying again until the dripping of salty tears against the kitchen counter became persistently loud, blocking out the ringing in his ears and thumping of his heart.

Washing his face with cold water, he looked at the clock and sighed.

Walking back upstairs, his feet carried him to a black door at the far end of the hall. A room he visits daily, yet he currently doesn't seem to remember why.

Creaking the door open, he remembered.

The thumping of his heart returned to a normal, calm pace. The ringing disappeared and he didn't feel like crying anymore. Yes, he felt like shit, but he was also happy.

Because there, in the medium sized room with it's soft pastel orange walls that 2 people insisted on, lay his daughter cuddled up to the last gift Shouyou had given her, fast asleep.

He remembered what it was that deleted every thought of death. What kept him going. What kept him alive.

It was his and Shouyous daughter.

She was a beautiful little girl he was so so very proud of. He could never leave her, no matter how depressed he was. She was his only connection to Shouyou, the only living thing left of Shouyou, and he loved his princess no matter what.

He went to wake her up as it was time for breakfast, watching as her eyes fluttered open, looking like an exact copy of Shouyous.

She took notice of the slight redness around her dads eyes, knowing exactly what it was from.

"You cried again, didn't you?" she asked softly.

Tetsurou smiled at her, running his fingers through her long black hair that has a natural obré going to ginger, "Yeah, I'm sorry."

"It's nothing to apologize for, I know how much it hurts. Maybe not the way it hurts for you, but i can imagine."

"I miss him a lot."

"I know. I do, too," she said as she wrapped her short arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes until she spoke up again.

"Hey, dad?"

"Yes, princess?"

"I love you."

Tetsurou didn't reply for a while, feeling the silent tears roll down his cheeks.

"I love you, too, Nikkou."

**________________**

**Author's Note:**

> 日光 (Nikkō) = sunlight
> 
> I wrote this at 2 am and I'm not even sure why or how I got the idea
> 
> Thank you for reading, hope you liked it! <3
> 
> \- fyimiyuki


End file.
